…is the most hated feeling that I would ever feel. I swore to myself that I won’t get mad anymore but tonight I failed. I acted to rude like a wild animal that no one could ever tamed. I can’t get rid of this feeling of being tired dealing with this somebody. I think that I could never have peace if she’ll be staying with me the rest of my life. I just don’t know anymore how will I deal with her. Maybe I’m too kind because she often end up abusing that kindness- and - if I act rude to her I can’t win over her because she fights back and I often end up as a loser and could no longer hold on my temper. I hate myself being like this. I hate myself having this hatred. Oh God, I am so sorry of how I feel tonight. I am really very sorry.